Diagnosis: muscle strain(?)

My lab tests came back normal. (Well, similar to my usual results.) Nothing indicating a major problem.

The NP didn't know what to make of it. After speaking with the doctor, they've decided I strained a back muscle, which apparently is causing these weird symptoms. (I've had strained muscles before, and it's been nothing like this, but I'll go with it for now.)

I'm to take Aleve and wait it out another week or so.

It definitely was not a miscarriage, and apparently I don't meet the criteria to have an abortion.